The Unseen Companion By: Tawni Crist

The skirts have been bought.

The shirts have been purchased.

The shoes are ordered.

And the accessories decided.

The luggage is set out.

You can still smell the new on the gleaming Preach My Gospel.

The pencils still sharp, waiting to write words of faith.

 

The hands are ready.

For holding, for comforting, for hugs and for work.

The feet are willing.

For the many miles that will be required on the pavement each day.

The mind is set.

A year and a half of no hugs from family or dear loved ones left behind.

The spirit is full.

A testimony has grown, brighter and brighter, it cannot be hid but must be shared.

The heart is open.

To listen, to teach, to learn, to be patient, to be kind, to be loving and understanding.

The faith is unwavering.

"A mission" the Holy Ghost whispered, so a mission she would go.

 

She's following in the footsteps of an example set long ago.

One of charity, of love.

One of patience, of determination.

One of faith, of humility.

One of compassion, of kindness.

One of endurance, of forgiveness.

One of generosity, of gentleness.

One of joyfulness, of obedience.

One of responsibility, of self-control.

One of tolerance, of virtue.

One of selflessness.

 

A far away place she is called,

a far away place she will serve.

No familiar faces,

just letters from home to lift and encourage.

Doors shut in her face daily.

Scornful and hurtful words hurled her direction every hour.

But for the one person that says,

"Yes, I will follow His example."

The doors and the words matter not.

 

Alone as she may look,

alone as she may feel,

forsaken she is not.

 

Every step, every door, every corner, every turn, on every street.

Christ is there.

When the investigator doesn't show.

Christ is there.

When her feet can not take one step further.

Christ is there.

When the door closes...for the tenth time that day.

Christ is there.

When a mocking laugh threatens to fill her eyes with tears.

Christ is there.

In the apartment when she turns to him, when she feels she can take no more.

Christ is there.

 

The unseen companion, He nary leaves her side.

He guides, and encourages.

He loves, and forgives.

He comforts, and inspires.

 

The skirts are now tattered.

The shirts are worn through.

The shoes have holes in the soles.

And the accessories are mostly missing.

The luggage is battered.

Preach My Gospel is bent, highlighted and marked on every page.

The pencils now dull, small stubs all that's left.

 

The hands are calloused.

From holding, from comforting, from hugs and from work.

The feet are tired.

From the many miles that were spent on the pavement each day.

The mind is at ease.

Family and loved ones surround her.

The spirit is overflowing.

Her testimony has grown, and stretched, a solid foundation to move forward with.

The heart is full.

Of love, of patience, of charity, of determination, of faith, of humility, of compassion, of kindness, of endurance, of forgiveness, of generosity, of gentleness, of joyfulness, of tolerance, of virtue, of selflessness.

The faith is unwavering.

"Well done, thou good and faithful servant." The unseen companion whispers.

 

How Did I Get Here?

If someone had told me on June 31st what would take place between now and then, I would've laughed at them, rolled my eyes, and called them crazy.

 

***

 

Going on a mission was always an option for me, but I guess you could say I never took that option seriously. I always assumed that I would get married before then.

I've always been always been loud and outgoing, not really shy, but when it comes to my religion...I tend to hold that very near to my heart. I also believe that people should worship, how, where and what they may. Who am I to force my religion on them?

So I figured that being a missionary isn't what I really wanted to do.

But God always has a different plan for us, and usually it involves a little something

of something we don't want to do.

 

For about two months before I really decided to serve a mission I was dating two amazing guys. And I at first I was contemplating who to pursue a relationship with. For some time I had a distinct impression to date #2, and so I did but I couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't quite right, but neither was dating #1. So I continued praying, occasionally tossing in the idea of a mission. But I couldn't decide. They were all excellent choices, two Honorably Returned Missionaries, both great men. Either would make a great eternal companion. Or a mission, also a good choice. But I couldn't grasp which path to choose.

 

So I prayed again. And again. And again. And finally I asked for a blessing.

The blessing didn't say "And you are to serve a mission". In fact, I don't remember what the blessing said at all. But I remember the feeling. The distinct impression that I needed to serve a mission.

 

Dang it.

And so I ignored it for a few days.

Until the branch missionaries asked to meet with me.

I didn't know why, there was a past incident where they thought I was a new member, but I thought we'd cleared that up. But I figured hey, what they heck? It can't hurt to meet with them.

 

So two days later they were in my living room, talking to me about being a better member missionary. Thank you Heavenly Father, your sense of humor is fantastic.

But it worked. At the very beginning of the lesson one of the Elder's kept playing with his missionary badge. And I caught a glimpse of what it could be like for me to have my very own missionary badge. For the next few days, I felt like I was wearing a badge. No one looked at me different, no one asked me anything about the gospel and I didn't share my testimony, but I could feel it there. 

 

And so I decided I would call the Branch secretary and set up a meeting with the President. 

 

Before the Branch secretary even called me back, the Branch President was there.

 In my office.

Staring at me with a smile.

 

He asked me how I was doing and I asked him if he had any opening for a short meeting.

 

So, that night we met and the next day I started and finished my papers. All I had to do was doctor's/dentist's appointments.

 

On September 20th my call came!

 

Dear Sister Crist,
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the PUERTO RICO SAN JUAN mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months. You should report to the Dominican Republic Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, January 1, 2014. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish Language.

 

Every time I read those words I get teary eyed and can feel the Savior's love for me so strongly. I know without a doubt that I am to serve a mission. At first it was because that's what I was being told by our Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost that that's what I needed to do, but through time it has become because I want to.

 

I realized, that I needed to at first date and consider marriage to know that it wasn't what I needed to do at this time. But I needed to get out all doubts. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said it best when he shared a story about him and his son driving home from a trip in the desserts of Utah. They came to a fork in the dirt road and weren’t sure which way to go. They prayed about it and felt right about going to the right. They drove that way and soon realized that the way they had chosen was a dead end so they turned around and went the other way.

Elder Holland’s son asked why Heavenly Father would tell them to go the wrong way. Elder Holland concluded that sometimes Heavenly Father wants us to go the wrong direction for a short time because He would rather have us know without a doubt that the other way is the right way rather than just travel on without knowing for sure.

 

I know with all my heart that this is the true and restored gospel.

I know that I can be with my family for forever, and that it is going to be SO hard to leave them for a year and a half. But I have an eternity to be with them, and right now I am needed in Puerto Rico to share the gospel. To share with others the knowledge of the Plan of Happiness that I have. That the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only true gospel, that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ and that it provides the only true and lasting happiness. I know that we can live with our families after this life in the eternities. I know that our Heavenly Father knows us personally. He hears and answers our prayers. Sometimes it isn't how we expect but He is there and He loves us.

Going on a mission isn't about forcing my religion upon others, but to bring the message and the love of Christ unto others. And I cannot wait to share His message with the wonderful people of Puerto Rico!

 

 

Until next time,

xoxo Blonde Chocoholic

 

What I was told or what I wish I was told before I went to the temple

Salt Lake City, UT (Where I received my own endowments)

Draper, UT

Twin Falls, ID

Santo Domingo (Dominican Republic)

(Will attend here while at MTC)

On September 20, 2013, my life changed for forever. I received my call to serve a mission!

I knew it was coming and I couldn't wait! Where would I be serving?!

Sister Tawni....you have been assigned to labor in the

Puerto Rico San Juan Mission

I was thrilled! It was perfect! It is perfect!

But that's a separate blog (click the mission to check it out)

On September 27, 2013, my life changed for forever again. I received my endowments in the Temple of the Lord. Before I received them I received advice from EVERYONE! My mother, my branch presidents, friends that had gone before me, my sister, my brother.

In this post I'm going to try to combine advice that was given me, and advice that I wish someone would have given me before I went through. Before I start, I do want to make clear. I do not claim to be an expert on all things Temple. In fact I'm still really new at this! But I do think that some of this will help, feel free to add more advice in the comments!

Prepare yourself spiritually.

I would suggest some reading.

Doctrine & Covenants 109 for starters. This was the dedicatory prayer offered for the Kirtland Temple. Read it before you go in, and then sometime after. You'll read it differently the next time around. I promise.

Also Temple & Tabernacle in the Bible Dictionary. (Speaking of the Bible Dictionary, read it! It's amazing and full of so many great things!)

These two talks:

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/05/personal-preparation-for-temple-blessings

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/temple-worship-the-source-of-strength-and-power-in-times-of-need?lang=eng&query=

And just for funsies, my new favorite chapter Doctrine & Covenants 31, make it personal change the name to be your name and it becomes an amazing powerful blessing for you and your mission.

Prepare yourself mentally.

If you are anything like me, you are curious and your mind is going about 1,000 MPH about "what should I expect and what is said and why, oh why!, does everyone keep telling me it's overwhelming? And if one more person tells me that it's 'different', I might scream".

At least that was a running dialogue in my head before I went.

Before you go in just stop, I know it's hard, but don't even TRY to think about what goes on. I can tell you that no matter what you will be 100% WRONG.

The Temple session is a beautiful and wonderful time. Don't overthink it and don't worry about it.

Here's what I can tell you:

What to expect? A bazillion and one of the nicest, sweetest, loving women to ever grace the earth helping you at every turn. I mean that literally. These women are placed almost every ten feet in the temple. You cannot get lost. And if you have a question, they are more than happy to help you. Do not worry! They are there and they love you and are so happy for you! Your first time through, is all about you! Everyone there will know it's your first time, even if they aren't a temple worker, will help you! Remember it's the Lord's house and everyone there knows it. It is the most loving place on earth.

Overwhelming? Yes and no. The temple is somewhere you will repeatedly go and will always learn something new. Yet, at the same time it's wonderfully simple. The first time is the most overwhelming, so just relax and feel the spirit. The first time through the main focus is to soak it in and feel the spirit. The next time you go through, you'll know more of what is going on, and be able to focus more on learning! So the first time listen, but FEEL.

It's different? Yes, it's "different" I suppose. The covenants made in the temple are ancient they are before this time. But they are wonderful and beautiful and the blessings and promises that come from them are amazing and undeniable. I HAD SO MANY PEOPLE TELL ME THIS. And honestly, I wish they wouldn't have focused on this. It made me nervous and it only compounded my problem of thinking about it. And being worried. It's nothing extreme. Honestly, just trust me on this, it's not worth worrying or even thinking about.

Prepare physically.

Obviously you want to look clean and presentable for the Lord's house, and you want to be spiritually ready as well. But there are some basics that you need not forget!

Clothes! Ladies, do not forget that you will be leaving with an extra layer, and to dress appropriately....I thought my skirt was long enough...I was sadly wrong by a few centimeters. The first time through I would definitely suggest wearing a skirt that DEFINITELY hits below the knees front and back. Then back at your house you can go and try on and adjust, but trust me when I say you will not want to be playing the how-not-to-move-as-not-to-show-my-new-layer game while leaving the temple. You just won't. Don't forget the tops. I knew that I would need sleeves, but the neckline never occurred to me. I'm narrower through my shoulders and many many of my round neck shirts had to go. They weren't too low, but they were too wide! So dress accordingly! And don't be my sister and have to stop on your way to buy a white bra. Wear one!

Hair! Maybe your hair doesn't drive you crazy, but just to be on the safe side I would suggest either pulling all of it back into a low pony tail (white holder, don't forget that!) or at least the front half back into a pretty clip. Just trust me. I didn't the first time and the second time through it made a big difference in how much my mind wandered. I kept pushing it back the first time, because it WOULD NOT STAY OUTTA MY FACE! So just pull it back. You'll thank me later, or maybe not. But I really wish I would've.

Makeup! This is simple. You probably will cry. Bring a white hankie. They sell them at the distribution center. And unless you want black eyes, wear waterproof makeup. Simple.

But the best advice I received to date. GO BACK.

It was probably the single best piece of advice I received. 

I hope that this does not read the wrong way, because I LOVE THE TEMPLE. And it is the most amazing place on earth. But my first time through was not my best experience. 

I had built it up so much in my head, and everyone with their "oh it's different" made me worry. 

I can say that the first time was amazing and beautiful but it wasn't my favorite time in the temple. And it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I thought that I would change completely 180, my way of thinking would immediately be different. But I walked out confused and I wasn't sure what all I had heard, did I even learn anything? And I felt like I was different, everyone else was all "Oh my gosh! I learned so much, the gospel is true!" And I was all, "Wait! I don't remember what was said! I don't understand!" But the advice for my dilemma was two simple words: GO BACK.

 I have been twice since and my love for it has grown immensely. I understand so much more and more every time I go. Now I have the "The Gospel is true! I learned so much!"

But don't feel strange if you are like me and your first time through isn't "ah-ha!" or all enlightening like you thought it would be. Everyone is different. 

I really wish someone would have told me,

it's okay to not feel 100% changed after your first time through.

So here I am, telling you, it's okay.

It's okay to feel nervous, it's okay to be confused, it's okay!

Change doesn't happen overnight or after once through the temple.

 It happens over a lifetime of visits to the temple, it happens slowly, over many visits.

If you walk out of the temple and felt the spirit that is all that matters. 

Just because you didn't have an all inspiring moment or full enlightenment like you thought you might or think other people had, doesn't mean that you aren't spiritual enough or worthy enough, there is a lot to learn and soak up, and you have to go back to learn more. And eventually you'll have that YES! moment. I didn't get that until my 3rd time through. Everyone is different. You might get it the first time, you might get it the 3rd, 5th or maybe the 10th time. But GO BACK. 

  "Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come."

Doctrine & Covenants 68:6

 

 The temple is an amazing place, so be of good cheer, and do not fear, for the temple is the Lord's house and He is there with you!

xoxo, The Blonde Chocoholic